Unemployment Sucks

After leaving Sixth Form with good grades, I thought the jobs would just come rolling in. That's what my school told me anyway. They seem to only popularise the idea of getting a high-paying job and immediately your life will be full-filled. As an student at school, I was pushed to go to university. I know from 16 years old that I didn't want to go and I would never want to go. Applying though UCAS was hard work, and frankly a waste of time but 'no' wasn't an option. I applied to study fashion journalist at university because I was forced into deciding my future career at 16 and applied for five universities and got four offers. One was unconditional which gave a little confidence boost but I was determine to abandon my applications and allow myself be rejected by default. For around four months, I was pestered my pastoral staff and subject leaders to complete my application and give a response. The more students from the school that attend university, the more recognition and commendation the school will get. A stubborn personality is the only thing that helped me to put my foot down.

However, after escaping the UCAS pressure, I am still unemployed. At 18, I know I want to write for a living, but there's limited jobs in that department. I would love to sit and watch This Morning every day, waking up at 10am and sitting in a leopard print onsie while drinking ginger tea. But I like to work. Any type of work makes me happy, I was once the extremely irritating classmate that would check with the teacher for more homework before receiving death stares from 29 other students. Working hard, having projects and aiming towards deadlines is what makes me happy. Those aspects draw me to blogging, it's tagged with it's own personal pressures. But those aspects are the exact reason unemployment just sucks.

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My Experience with Fashion Blogging

Journalism has been an interest of mine ever since I noticed I excelled in subjects such as English and Media at school. I even studied them in my A-Levels. For a long time, I have been set on become a journalist; but as I grow older and learn more about the industry, doubts begin to set in. The same goes for the fashion industry. This is something I have admire from being very young as my mother is a designer. Her incredible knowledge and experience in textiles only fuels my interest and by the age of 9 I was designing my own range of clothing. However, I soon realised I don't like sewing at all and focused on other jobs I could find. Within the fashion industry, there are so many different areas to work in, and all take dedication, and balls.

It's a hard-shelled, cut-throat market, and very competitive. Which could be said for any field of work really. I have watched fashion-based programmes and read my fair share of magazines religiously trying to figure out exactly what I want to do. Until I came across blogging. My first fashion blog was called Mannequin Mode and I was obsessed. I wrote about the latest trends and my style icons, posting every single day. After outgrowing 'MM' I moved onto Anika May. At first, this was a hobby, I could still talk about my favourite industry and follow the highest in fashion while learning along the way. But my experience has taught me that fashion blogger takes solid dedication, and a big closet. I have the dedication down, motivation comes very easily to me as I can be inspired by my surroundings. But I began to compare the clothes I did own to well-known bloggers who were already established and worked with impressive brands. So I worked harder.

Eventually, my blog following began to grow - and that was all that mattered to me. I realised I was blogging competitively instead of as a hobby and Anika May was no longer my little corner of the internet. I stopped expressing myself creatively and rather just tried to keep up with everyone else. Reading and writing are my first loves and I want to continue to develop my journalistic skills to one day become successful, to my own standard.

Learning not to compare yourself with other is difficult, and it's something I still stop myself from doing. Yet, I think it's something you must learn to do yourself to then master the skills.

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Anika Heart Starts Here

This is something I have thought about doing for a few years. I have been desperately trying to find a way to express my thoughts and my opinions, but struggling to find a way to do it creatively and enjoy it. Writing a diary isn't quite enough, I needed more. Having my own little space on the internet is a perfect way for me to grow as a person. At 18 years old, society expects me to have a career in my and my future planned, but I don't have any idea what I want to do. My mind is never set on one thing, apart from blogging. Fashion blogging was fun at first, but I began to compare myself to others, and I compared every aspect.

There were f-bloggers richer than me, with more clothes than me, a better camera than me, and more followers than me. When I noticed that fashion blogging became a burden, I decided to slow down, maybe take a break from something that I no longer enjoyed. However, I could write for days. If I could not down every single one of my thoughts I would. Life was created for me to spend my time worrying about whether people I don't know will like my outfit enough to accept me as a human. I need to accept myself first. Figure out who I am, and start from there.

Anika Heart is a clean slate. It took me a while to get here, but I have finally made it and I can't wait to see where this adventure is going to take me. I'll continue to learn about writing and blogging while growing as a person and expanding my interests. Almost like a whole new me.

So, I'm Anika. Nice to meet you.